Ultimate Reset, Reflections on Day 2

Day 2 went really well!  I haven't cheated one bit, and I have been 100% committed to the process. Last night was tricky because I made the kids French toast for dinner.  R didn't finish much of hers, and when I went to clear her plate, the powdered sugar was calling to me.  Yet, I didn't cave.  I said to myself, "Don't eat that. It will not get you to your goals."  I succeeded!!  I feel such a sense of accomplishment: it's snacking on the kids' stuff is what got me where I am.  Not eating their food needs to become a long term habit.

I am not someone who does something halfway, and this applies to eating.  I wanted to learn to run long distances, so I trained and rain a marathon (3 actually).  I wanted to learn more about French and language acquisition, so I got a Ph.D. in it.  I enjoyed working with Beachbody products so much, so I became a coach.  "Halfway" is not in my personal dictionary.  For all of the above things, going full tilt is GREAT.  When it comes to eating poorly, this can be a very bad thing.  When I'm in my funks, I tend to say to myself about the kids' food, "Oh this one bite won't hurt."  Trouble is, that single bite leads to a full meal of snacking.  I go from their food, to the cabinets, to the fridge, and repeat the cycle.

After completing this Reset the first time, I developed post-Reset rules for myself, namely "No drinking alcohol at home." And, I almost NEVER drink alcohol at home anymore.  I work well with rules, which is why the Reset works so well for me.  Tell me to do something, or not to do it, and I'll do it (or not do it).  So, I believe that my next rule needs to be, "Do not eat the kids leftovers."  If I do, it opens up a Pandora's box of crud.  I can ruin an entire day of being attentive to my nutrition in just a few bites.  So, it appears that this rule needs to be added to my list.  I have every reason to believe that I will stick to it, because that's how I roll.  ;-)

I love that I am learning so much about myself and my behaviors & habits this time through.  I love that I am reflecting on not just WHAT I am eating but WHY I am eating it.  It is time to kick these habits to the curb!

Onward and upward to Day 3!

Ultimate Reset, Reflections on Day 1

I triumphed over Day 1.  It was a great day.  I had to remind myself several times not to eat animal crackers or the kids' leftovers.  I did it, though.  I managed to begin the transformation process: redefining my relationship with food, recommitting to clean eating, reconnecting to the joy in life.

I realized this morning, the beginning of Day 2, that I already feel so much better.  For the past few months, I have not been feeling right. I've been on edge and certainly not enjoying my days, and I haven't been sleeping well at all. This morning I woke up feeling ready to tackle the day.  The kids woke up REALLY early and instead of being annoyed at their incessant bickering and clamoring for my attention, I smiled and thought, "Wow. I am so grateful."  I remember mornings years ago when it was just Shannon and me.  All we wanted was to add to our family.  When it was clear that it wasn't going to happen the way we thought, I felt so sad, so lonely, and just longed for the busy mornings that I remember from my childhood at my house.

These are the memories I find again.  When I am not busy obsessing over my food, my weight, or my unfortunate food choices these past few months, the happy memories come flooding back to me.  I focus on the positive. Instead of being upset that my kids woke up too early, I see them for the beauty that they are--these amazing little creatures who came in to our lives and truly made our lives whole. If this is what 21 days of clean eating and detoxing will give me, I will gladly take it, and I will DEFINITELY continue the process.

Part of the reason I am keeping this blog is to remember the process, to remember the feelings of triumph, of doing the right and healthy thing for my family and for me.  I want to enjoy these days with my kids and my husband, and it appears that the way to do that is through nutrition.  Who woulda thunk it?

Ultimate Reset, Day 1: The scale

Today is Day 1 of the Ultimate Reset for me.  I am REALLY excited to get going on this amazing 21 day clean eating & detox program.  I have done it a number of times in the past year, and I love the results.

Part of the program is to weigh yourself, take your measurements, and before pictures on Day 1.  I weighed myself this morning, and OMG! I'm REALLY annoyed at myself.  Since I did the program last (July 2014), I've gained 10 pounds.  There, I said it.  It always amazes me how LONG it takes to lose weight and how quickly it goes back on.  Holy cow.

Even before I weighed myself, I knew that I had gained weight.  All of my clothes are tight.  After doing the program the first time in April 2013, I lost 14 pounds and 9.5 inches.  In an effort to tell and show myself that I would NEVER gain that weight back, I donated all of my "fat" clothes.  Now, I REFUSE to buy new ones at a larger size, because I KNOW that I can take it off and get back to a healthy place.

Where I find myself now is SO FRUSTRATING.  To move forward, though, I will have to let go of the frustration. I will have to start clean (no pun intended) TODAY, acknowledge that I've gained weight, think about how it happened, and then vow to take every day as it comes. I find myself already panicked about Day 22, the day after the program comes to an end.  Should I continue to follow the program beyond the 21 days? Probably not.  The experts at BB suggest 21 days for a reason, and I should listen to them.  Should I slowly enter back in to the "real" world of eating? That seems like a better solution.  Should I get back to the 21 Day Fix and its workouts? Yes!  Definitely.

This time around, my focus is going to be on the mind-body-nutrition connection.  This seems like it's the last piece of the puzzle for me.  I am SUPER successful on this program.  Then, I get back to my old ways, and I don't know why.  I feel SO GREAT on this plan.  I have tons of energy; I am happy that I am focusing on my health and wellness, and I find myself REALLY happy.  Always REALLY happy.

And, who doesn't like going in to their closet without wondering what will fit?!  Time for that to stop. Please continue reading and feel free to make a comment.

Breakfast, Day 1: 2 scrambled eggs, 1 1/2 cups steamed spinach, and whole wheat toast.  See? I'm NOT kidding: good food, WHOLE food.  I CAN do this.